So its halfway through the WASTED tour, and what better way to celebrate this exceptional tour by all sharing in a fun game!! The photo blog, Picture Us WASTED, will recommence next week with a fortnight bonanza, but for right now, what type of actor are YOU??
To write about a day in the life of an actor on tour is to write of the infinite quandary of our cosmos: so many types of actors, so many types of days. Below is a fun, slightly tongue-in-cheek, 10 question quiz, to help you discover what type of actor you are or could be, on any given day of a tour.
1. Your bedside alarm rings at 7.30am Do you?
A- up you get. You wanna get in the shower in time for breakfast and an hour’s vocal warm-up.
B- snooze it five minutes, if not more. There’s no way though you’re getting up for breakfast. And you did a vocal warm-up yesterday.
C- wake up in blind confusion. Smack the off-button. You ain’t getting up till at least midday. You didn’t get to bed till 5am and that hangover ain’t clearing any time soon.
D- there’s no way you will have set an alarm for half 7 in the first place.
2. Your digs landlady has left you a clipping of a local review of your show by your door. Do you?
A- pick it up. Read it quietly to yourself in your room, taking down any notes the theatre critic has kindly made of your performance to take into later consideration.
B- pick it up but without looking at it, pop it in your pocket for a later burial in a far away public bin. You don’t want to upset the landlady and she meant well, but you no longer read reviews. Not since the Bletchley Times spelt your name wrong and suggested they’d rather eat their own face than watch another of your performances.
C- pick it up. Realise what it is and throw it back on the floor. You need to attend to the three S’s before even entertaining any ideas of theatre and work.
D- you never made it back to your digs last night.
3. You’ve never been to this city before. Do you?
A- make sure you take out with you your Lonely Planet guide. You don’t want to miss a thing.
B- head out for lunch with the rest of the company in a local pub. Sit out in the beer garden and take in the ambience. Perhaps go for a walk round the shops if there’s time.
C- head out for lunch. The company are heading to a local but you fancy Wetherspoons. You know what you’re getting with that. Besides, it’s right next to your digs. Perfect.
D- watch This Morning, followed by Cash in the Attic, followed by Neighbours, followed by Quincy, followed by Countdown. Followed by, heck is that the time? You better get to the theatre. You’ve just missed the half.
4. It’s the half (half hour before the show starts). Do you?
A- warm up. Get your vocal exercise book out and follow its instruction methodically as always, careful not to skip anything.
B- warm up. You’ve noticed your higher range is slightly weak so you decide to concentrate on that. Perhaps try loosening the shoulders. See if that helps.
C- choose not to warm up. Get into your costume though and make sure it all feels comfortable. Yep, it does.
D- have a couple of cigarettes. Helps with the stress. Especially after the Stage Manager’s had a go at you for turning up smelling of alcohol.
5. You’re about to step out onto the stage for your first scene. Do you?
A- go through your three circles of concentration, your objectives and your super-objectives.
B- go through your lines.
C- check your flies.
D- sneak a peek into the audience. That girl you met last night said she’d come along. You wanna make sure you push all your best emotions and facial expressions in her direction. She was hot.
6. It’s the final show in this city. Do you?
A Help strike the set. It’s best it’s done quickly so more hands the better. You want to get an early night in before heading to the next theatre. Another week, another community to inspire through the medium of theatre.
B- have a quick drink then help strike the set. More hands the better and you want to have a couple more drinks somewhere else.
C- get to the bar and get in the drinks. You’ve got at least a couple hours of drinking time before the set is packed up. It’s always nice to get some praise from the audience.
D- leg it off the stage, throw your costume on the dressing room floor, run next door to the Wetherspoons, order yourself a line of Jaeger Bombs. The tour van can pick you up en route. You just can’t remember if it was your turn to drive it.
7. You’ve got the Sunday off. Do you?
A- get up early. Get down to the gym. Read through your script. Have a pleasant Sunday lunch with your nearest and dearest. Get an early night.
B- meet with some friends you haven’t seen in a while. Enjoy a few glasses of vino but not too many. You want to get a good night’s sleep in.
C- get a video in, a take-away. Start with a couple beers but your mate comes over and you end up getting really drunk. You get your script out but only to use as an intermediary between your lap and the very hot plate of curry.
D- wake up in a strange city, in a strange bed, a red stamp on the back of your hand, wondering why you hadn’t gone home on the tour van.
8. It’s the first show back after a week’s break. Do you?
A- get together with your fellow cast members that afternoon for a line-run, a discussion of new ideas you’ve had for the show, and to show them the drawings you’ve done of each of them.
B- get together with your fellow cast members to do a quick line-run before the half. You’ve not looked at your script for a week.
C- you’ve not looked at your script for a week. It might be quite exciting to go onstage and at times, be completely surprised by the lines you’re saying. Maybe that might bring about the spontaneity your drama teacher always harped on about.
D- just hope and pray the week you’ve just had, the most hedonistic, alcohol-fuelled week you’ve ever dared have in your life doesn’t harm what was already a rather compromised performance.
9. It’s the final show of the entire tour. Do you?
A- do as you’ve always done. You’re a professional, goddammit.
B- really go out there and enjoy it. It’s your last chance. It might be your last job ever. Have fun out there!
C- try out some new things. Drop in a few jokes of your own. Don’t tell the other cast members though. It’ll be a right laugh. As long as no one’s allergic to cat hair.
D- take the night off.
10. It’s the end-of-play party. Do you?
A- take some headshots along. You never know who you’re gonna meet.
B- dress snazzy. You never know who you’re gonna meet.
C- dress as you always dress. You know exactly who you’re gonna meet. You never liked them anyway.
D- not go. You got so smashed the night before, you’ve not slept for 48 hours and quite honestly your last performance was such a debauched embarrassment, it’s best for all concerned if you stayed away.
A If you answered mostly A, you are an actor.
B If you answered mostly B, you are an actor.
C If you answered mostly C, you are an actor.
D If you answered mostly D, you are an actor, frighteningly.